So yesterday was our Halloween party at work -_-
Today I’ve been at school, then I’ll go to work, and then I’ll go to the gym. I’ve eaten two pieces of whole wheat toast with peanut butter, an orange, turkey and cucumber. It doesn’t sound like much but I promise I’m eating enough :)
My life has been far from pretty since April. I had gained weight but I was working on losing it, and I was back down to 173. My boyfriend and I were happy…for all of 2 weeks. After 2 weeks of dating we found out his ex was pregnant with his baby. I got depressed about life and started eating and we’ll needless to say gained it all back. We continued to date for about 3 months, then we broke up because I told him he needs to try and be with her, after all they were together for like 6 months. So he did, and I was miserable then too. Going on phases of not eating, binging, throwing up, running, pills, nothing good for me. I hurt my body badly and I blamed myself for everything that was happening to me.
Here we are today. Turns out he wasn’t happy with her, so he broke up with her and we are together again. But, I’m not sure if I’m a strong enough person to handle all of that drama. Has anybody ever been in this situation? Please help me. I’m trying, but it’s extremely hard. I just know that if I continue to focus on that then I’ll destroy myself. So, after yesterday morning, looking at myself in the mirror long and hard, I’m going to focus on me. I joined a gym yesterday, I’m making better eating decisions, I’m just going to be better. No more of this destroying myself over something I can’t change…we’ll I could walk a away, but I haven’t been able to yet. But it doesn’t mean I have to constantly think about it.
I can’t even remember the last time I posted anything because it’s been way too long. I’ve gained weight, about 16 pounds. I started school again, although the semester is almost over, my love life seems to be a complete joke these days (I’ll explain later), my sister is in the navy making something go herself, and then there’s me. I believe I’ve taken a whole new meaning to slow and steady wins the race. I started my journey in 2012 weighing 207. Well, here I am in October 2013 weighing in at a whole 186 pounds. I can say that I am proud of myself for not letting myself fall back into the 200’s, but I am sad that I’m where I’m at now.
I haven’t been to the gym in a while, but i have been doing the couch to 5k program! I think its a really good place to start if you want to start running! :)